Xuzhou mama hoo hoo.


So I mentioned last time that I was getting ready to go on a business trip to Xuzhou, China. I’m going to say right now that you should ignore everything I said in the previous blog. So many surprises can happen when you agree to go with a foreign person to a foreign place, without a real sense of why you are going, and when you will return.

But it was certainly an experience. First of all, two of the American girls, Judith and Daniela went with me. They, going for the vacation aspect of the trip, started planning out what we were going to do between my work hours. In their guidebooks they read that the city we were visiting was one of the most beautiful in China. It had festivals, gardens, grand mountains, ancient artifacts, and something called the Temple of Wonders. So we were excited when we found out we were headed to one of the most sacred and famous places in all of China. Everywhere we went people kept saying how wonderful our trip was going to be.

Unfortunately, I had been pronouncing the name of the city incorrectly. I had been calling the place Suzhou. But we were not headed to Suzhou, but Xuzhou.

Now Xuzhou has some decent things about it but it’s not in the same league as Suzhou. It’s like eating a Pop Tart when you know there are artery-clogging biscuits and gravy in the next room. When we told our Chinese Laoshi where we were actually headed he gave us a sigh of pity. He said, “Xuzhou mama hoo hoo.” Basically this means that Xuzhou isn’t terrible but it’s not fantastic either.

Next, we didn’t take a train like I thought. We took a sleeping bus. It was supposed to have beds, pillows, and blankets for us to utilize while we enjoyed our peaceful journey through the night. When I heard about this vehicle I imagined it would look something like the Night Bus from the third Harry Potter movie.

But unlike the British wizards, we got this rickety-looking deathtrap. It was behind all the other nice busses at the bus station. The one that they try to hide in the back so customers are forced to feel committed by the time they walk out and see it.

When we got on, there were about forty bunk-beds crammed together; some full of sleeping Chinese men. It felt like a morgue as we walked through the line of still bodies.

The girls and I took the place in the back. Within thirty minutes of our eight hour luxury bus ride, we started to itch as bugs from the blankets and pillows began biting us. We’re lice free though so that’s good. The bugs in our hair must have already eaten the lice.

Oh, and once nine o’clock hit the temperature dropped about twenty degrees. But there was nothing we could do so we just laughed at our situation until we reached the nearly nice city of Xuzhou.

The next morning I started working for Shen. He had invited me to his home-town so he could use me for an experiment he was working on. That day he recorded me saying the sentences the Americans and I had edited for him. He is going to play those recordings back to people and see how their brains react to those words. I’m not really sure how it all works but it seems very interesting.

After work, Shen took the three of us out to see the sights of Xuzhou. It’s actually a fascinating place. We flew kites in a park, saw a mountain, and visited the ancient tomb of a prince from the Han Dynasty. The tomb was looted several years ago but many of the ancient writings and statues remained in museums nearby. What’s amazing about China is that many of the characters used in their writing thousands of years ago are still being used today.

At one point Shen also taught me the rules of Chinese Chess. It’s an exciting game that has many similar rules and pieces as the Chess we play in the states. Someday I want to play the old Chinese men in the parks. They get really serious about this and large crowds form and start chanting for their favorite player. It's like extreme Chess.

Finally, as the trip was ending, Shen took us out to eat with his family. We got to meet his daughter and wife. Many Chinese people want English names when you meet them so I was given the opportunity to name his daughter. I called her Maria after my sister.

On the way home we took a normal bus. There were no beds, freezing temperatures, or insects. So all together, I’d say it was a great trip. I got to work with a scientist, take tours through tombs, and see all the sights of this mama hoo hoo city.





I could go for a Cheesy Gordita Crunch



I found out today that the closest Taco Bell is in South Korea. I am a country away digestional happiness. So if anyone has a sudden urge to overnight me a package please have it include one of everything from the TB menu. And maybe a few of those hot sauce packets with the friendly messages on them. It’s practically as good as writing a letter.



-Patrick



Laoshan



We went to the Laoshan Mountains today. They are some of the most famous mountains in China. It was a good climb that lasted about two hours and we reached a Bogotá at one of the larger peaks. I’ll load some pictures when I get a chance. It was one of the most beautiful hikes I’ve ever taken.



Korean food



A Korean girl named Nabi invited my roommate Florien, Judith, Kim, and I to her house for dinner. She lives with her brother, his wife, and their two sons. This was my first experience to eat with a Korean family.

I mentioned earlier that Koreans are extremely giggly people. However, I neglected to say how amazing they are. All of the Korean’s I’ve met have done everything in their power to make me feel comfortable and welcome in all situations. Like on Laoshan I was complaining about being hungry. Almost immediately a group of Koreans rushed me with egg salad, sandwiches, and some kind of processed meat substance on a stick. They the nicest people I’ve ever met.

The Koreans we had dinner with were no exception. They treated us like family. And it was interesting to experience the cultural differences. For example, we had to wear special shoes when we entered the doorway. Koreans consider walking into a home with shoes to be rude and dirty. So we all got to wear Korean flip flops. Big fan.

And the food was amazing. There was some kind of black bread, a meat and pasta dish, and a chewy yellow thing that ended up being squid. It was the second best meal I’ve had since I’ve been here. The first would be Pizza Hut.

Another interesting part about the Koreans is that they eat on the floor. They have these little tables that come about a foot-and-a-half off the ground. The family sits on the carpet around these tables and enjoys the food. Most Korean households have heated floors that they use during meals to keep themselves warm. I felt honored to have such an experience.







The Most Bravest



In Chinese class we had to read a passage out of the textbook to the entire class. We were supposed to read it like lines from a script so everyone was partnered up the night before. Judith was my partner. Ma Laoshi told us he would pick out the best group in the class.

Not that I’m competitive or anything, but I told Judith that we were going to win at all costs. She, being the kind of girl who will likely take over the world in a few years, agreed with me. So we went home and practiced for hours. I will admit right now that I’m not the best at Chinese and memorizing the characters along with their tones is a struggle. But we worked really hard. I even ripped an audio version of the text onto Audacity and listened to it while I slept. We were positive that we would be good, if not be the best, during the presentation.

As the next day rolled around though, Judith and I went up and presented. I thought we did alright; not as good as I had expected, but alright. Then the Laoshi went around and told us how each group ranked in the class. This is a terrible thing that Chinese people do. It’s supposed to encourage students to put all of their effort into not being humiliated in front of their peers. Ranked first was the American and Russian team from the back row. But that was okay, we didn’t have to be at the very top of the class. But when we weren’t the second or third best I started to get a little worried. And when the seventy-four-year-old Korean man who recently decided he wanted to be a Chinese translator when he “grew up” was chosen before us, I kind of slouched in my seat all defeated like. Judith just laughed. She’ll be a good politician someday.

Finally, when everyone BUT Judith and I had been ranked from first to last, the Laoshi turned to us. He gave a smile of pity and waved his arm while saying the least encouraging words possible. “And I think that you two deserve the title of Most Bravest.”

He smiled once more like the name he had reserved for us would make the situation better. Basically we received the Chinese version of the best effort award. That’s the worst award you can get no matter what culture you’re living in. And it wasn’t even in proper English!

So, I ate a Snicker Bar to ease the cold chill of defeat. On the bright side, this event and others like it have given me the drive to excel in my studies. When I tell my Laoshi I don’t understand something in class he simply looks me in the face and tells me to “work harder.” It’s a heartless strategy but I can’t say it’s not working. Between class and homework I’m doing at least eight to ten hours of studying a day. I’ve never felt more Chinese.



What Happened to the Hole?



I was thinking the other day that Chinese people are just like ants in an ant hill. They are always scurrying about doing different jobs but all for the common goal of the making the whole (China) better. And their work ethic makes us Americans look like we’re running in slow motion.

Last week I walked to class and there was a pothole in the road. It was new hole. A few hours later I came down for a break and the hole was gone. New stone and everything. Do you know how long it takes to fill a hole in Southwest Missouri? It could take months! Sometimes entire traffic routes seem permanently changed because people are working on the road. This hole took a few hours.

And some days I’ll wake up and see an entirely new building outside my window. Where did it come from? Was that building there before? This is a fair question, seeing as I’m not the overly-observant type. But it still seems strange at how quickly things get done here.

It really is amazing. They’re like the elves from that shoemaker story. But instead of shoes they make roads. I’ll take a picture if I’m ever fast enough to catch them in mid-project.

Day to Day Stuff

Hey everyone,



I've attached a few pictures to my blog. They're in no particular order but it should give you some idea of what's been going on.

-Patrick



Will Complain for Food



Last week all of the westerners in our class were given a survey testing our English abilities. It was made-up of sentences and we had to rate their word choices. Unfortunately, most of the test was grammatically incorrect. Also, there were several sentences that were stereotypical. For example, "Like all American women, she had blue eyes and long blond hair," or "The main foods in America are bacon, eggs, toast, and orange juice."

We enjoyed making fun of it for the first page. But this thing ended up being thirteen pages long. Single spaced. And after page seven I was just ticked off. So I went through each sentence and corrected it.

At the end of the test I wrote a note to telling them they needed to fix their test. I also briefly mentioned that I would help them if they were interested. Don't do this lightly in China.

If I had complained in America, people would have probably looked at my note, rolled their eyes, ignored it, and gone on. But here, they took it to heart. The next day a man named Shen came to our dorm looking for me and the rest of the Americans. He studies neurolinguistics in southern China and wanted help perfecting his latest experiment.

I was at work so he asked the other Americans to help correct his sentences. It's funny; he didn't even seem annoyed that I called his test poorly constructed. Instead, he was ecstatic when he heard about English speakers who wanted to fix his work. The Americans however, were not quite as thrilled. It turns out that I had missed several corrections (after page nine I must have stopped caring). They spent hours fixing and recreating this Chinese guy's test.

At the end of the day though, when they had made a rough draft, he took us all out to dinner at Pizza Hut. And the next day, when we all finished a final draft, he took us to McDonald's. It was the most American food I've eaten since we've been here. I have missed hambabows (Chinese word for hamburgers. Fun to say, better to eat).

What's more, he has now offered to send me to some province in southern China so he can study me reading these sentences. If all goes well, I will be traveling by train this Thursday night and spend most of the weekend in Xuzhou. It's an expense-free trip, I will have a day for travel and vacation, and they are going to pay me. In America I would call this whole situation rather sketchy. In China though, this kind of thing happens all the time. I'll let you know how it goes.



-Patrick



Just a fancy Cellar



That cave that I was so interested in was just some ancient cellar that was dug out of the mountain. Once I got my body all the way in I found a chiseled wall and a low roof. It only went back about ten feet. No hallways, no underground waterfalls. Just a hole. I brought my rope and head lamp for a hole.



Dodo and a Coffee Shop

I’m still teaching at the preschool a few days a week. Up until now I have only been reading to the kids and making crafts with them. This last weekend though, we had an open house where parents came and watched me give a demo lesson to their kids. If all goes well, I will soon have my own class that I will be in charge of teaching.

The four kids that came Saturday are amazing. All of them are under six years old and have not spoken English before. It’s an exciting experience.

Like many of the Chinese, the children all have English names. This makes it easier for me to remember them all. My kids are named Hawk, Winnie, Apple, and Dodo. I have heard the name Apple several times here but Dodo is a new one. I asked his parents again to make sure I had heard them correctly. I hadn’t. Instead, his name is actually Doodoo.

But I will not call one of my students Doodoo. Think of all the trouble he would have if he ever went to America. So I made them switch it to Dodo. It’s better. Not much, but still better. The boy doesn’t know the difference between the two names and responds just well to either of them. Once he starts learning more words I will encourage him to change it to something different. Until then I will have Apple, Winnie, Hawk, and Dodo. A fruit, a bear, and a couple of birds. This is the beginning of my class and I hope to see it grow soon.

Also in the work news, I have been hired by the CEO of a construction company as an English tutor. Their business sells equipment and building materials internationally and exports to the western countries. They are even hiring foreigners. My new boss wants to perfect his English ability and give speeches for his new European and American employees.

My job will be to improve his pronunciation, add to his vocabulary, discuss American culture, and write speeches for him to present to his foreign workers. I feel like the guy in King Speech (good movie. Check it out). And I think, if I understand his secretary correctly, that I was invited to the company get-together at the end of the month. We’re going mountain climbing. I will bring my rope and head lamp.

The best part though is that I will be tutoring my new boss at a coffee shop. The CEO’s assistant took me with him to the café and I was able to pick out which table we would study at. I guess this guy is going to rent out that section of the coffee shop for us every week.

That’s all for now. I hope you all are well. Please feel free to email me while I’m here. My address is p.schism@hotmail.com

-Patrick

NEW NEWS

First of all, we’re safe. Qingdao has remained untouched by the earthquakes that caused so much damage in Japan and southwest China. Please be praying for the ministries and humanitarians who are already taking action to help the people who live in these places. Tragedy seems more realistic when you’re living close to it.

I honestly didn’t know much about the earthquakes until I talked to some of the people at church this last Sunday. What little news we receive is all in Chinese. So church was the first time I heard anything. I am attending the international Christian church in Qingdao. It’s a legal church for foreigners. Only foreigners. Chinese people are not allowed entrance due to laws by the incredibly “tolerant” government. However, we’ve heard through the grapevine that churches with eight or less people are only considered in-home meetings. I’ve met several people who have offered to take us to these meetings and show us around. Eight Christians may not seem like much but neither did Twelve.

Until then though, I will continue going to the international church. It’s amazing to see so many people from different nationalities worshiping together. And I’m going bowling with the singles group next weekend. Also, they’ve introduced us to the ExPats that live in town. ExPat, or Ex-Patriots, are foreigners from all over the world who have banded together in China. They have their own magazine, events, and helpful tips that can save a foreigner like me so much time.

Classes are still going well. We had our first test. It was all based on tones and pronunciations. There are four main tones in the Chinese language. One that is said at a high pitch, one that is ascending (like a question in English), one that goes down and then back up, and one that is descending (like a sentence that ends with an exclamation point). The trouble with these tones is that the same word can have several different meanings. The word “Ma” in the first tone means mother. The word “Ma” said with the third tone means horse. Not a good word to be confused about. I could say all the words correctly in a sentence and mean something entirely different than what I intended. This is a great country.

Oh and I received my Chinese name. It’s Lǜ dēnglóng. In an exact translation it means Green Lantern. I almost fell out of my chair when I got it.

Also this week I climbed the Lao Shang mountains. They were large but not very steep. It took us about four hours. We found a cave and we’re going to explore it on Wednesday. Luckily, I brought my headlamp and rope. Never leave home without your headlamp and rope.

I'll be sure to tell you how it goes.



-Patrick





Kungfu



Today I went to Kungfu class. The dorm offers lessons for all of the exchange students. Right now we are just punching the air and working on our form. It’s a great workout and everyone’s improving quickly. My French roommate, some of my German friends, and the American girls are all doing it with me. The teachers for the group are two short Chinese men. They look like they're pushing seventy and they can’t speak a word of English. So instead, the two of them just walk around kicking us until we get our form and position correct. For men so old, they still can pack a punch. One that was half my size knocked me backwards with a flick of his thumb. The more they punch the faster I learn.

Some of the students who attend the class are amazing. They have been at the university for several semesters. There are these two Italian girls who know how to fight with bow staffs and swords. If we continue training we might be able to get to this point too. I’m really enjoying everything and I will keep training until our Kungfu show in May. I’ll keep you posted on how things are going. Once I'm not getting punched as much I'll try uploading a video of one of our lessons.

-Patrick



My half Birthday



The American girls thought it would be nice to celebrate my half birthday. I didn’t know there was such a thing. But they insisted. So on March 10, Amy, Kim, Daniela, and Judith, went above and beyond on a holiday that didn't exist. And I am incredibly grateful.

I woke up to my room plastered with posters and streamers. They made me breakfast in bed and took me out to Pizza Hut in the evening. Now Pizza Hut is always a big deal but in China it’s a fancy restaurant. There are appetizers, fancy desserts, and classical music. And we’ve been living off Chinese food for the last three weeks so this felt like a real luxury. What’s more, the girls brought gifts and even a cake. Among the gifts was a bottle of Welch’s Grape Juice. I practically lived off the stuff in the states and it’s rare in China. It really meant a lot. There’s nothing better than pizza and grape juice.

The entire day they did things to celebrate. It was the best half birthday I’ve ever had.

-Patrick





Koreans



Okay, this is less of a post a more of an observance. I'm not usually one for stereotypes but this keeps happening again and again. There are few people in this world that laugh more than the Koreans. They are the most giggly people I have ever seen. If I hear a high-pitched squeal from somewhere across campus I can be sure it's a group of Koreans. And it's not just when things are funny. They laugh when they're nervous and they laugh when they're confused. So in a place where their language isn't spoken they spend a large part of their days giggling. One of my friends has a Korean roommate. She practically communicates through giggles. There are few recognizable words. Just giggles. The French have their cheese, the Russians their alcohol, and the Koreans their giggles.

What's New

Hello everyone, I wanted to apologize for not writing until now. China’s government has blocked my blog along with Facebook and most of Google. Thanks to Jennifer Wilson though, we have figured out a way I can send my posts through email and to my blog. I think my mom has already posted a few brief emails that I sent to her.

So much has happened in the last two weeks. I am currently in the International dorm at Qingdao University where all the foreign exchange students stay. So living right beside us are people from all over the world. It’s such an odd thing to be doing laundry next to a South Korean (yes Mom, I’m doing laundry) or eating dinner with a group of Germans. Tonight we are going to Karaoke with several types of people. If everyone attends, we will have representatives from Ghana, France, Germany, England, South Korea, Russia, Spain, America, and maybe even Poland. I only hope the rest of the world enjoys songs from Grease as much as I do.

Speaking of songs, China is already infected with that Justin Bieber kid. I heard a Chinese man singing “Bee bee, bee bee, bee bee ooooh,” on the bus yesterday…not The White Stripes, or Noah and The Whale, or even the Beatles. Just Bieber. I am so disappointed in the global community for letting that slip through our borders.

Anyways, I have a French roommate at the moment. I asked for a Korean but they must have been out. So instead, I got Florian. From what I’ve seen, he’s a great guy. He also speaks fluent English which is a huge perk in a place where my language is a minority.

He’s also in my Chinese class. We are taking four hours of Chinese a day, five days a week. It’s okay for the first two hours but by the third hour my brain flat lines. We have two teachers, or Laoshi’s teaching our class. My favorite is Ma Laoshi (Laoshi means teacher and Ma is his last name. It’s translated as horse. So, in an exact translation, we are calling him Horse teacher). The other is Cheng Laoshi. She is an ever-smiling woman who always tells me to learn Chinese by listening to my heart. But my heart only speaks English.

Still though, through so much practice, I can already order food, ask prices, talk about my family, and put together small sentences. What’s hard about Chinese is that you can’t just learn the translation. Chinese uses Characters instead of letters. So a sentence like “I love Chicken,” looks like this; 我爱鸡. The problem with this is that you have to worry about the pronunciation of the characters. We have to say the words phonetically. So 我爱鸡 sounds like Wǒ ài jī.

As a beginner, we have to learn to pronounce the words first, and then learn the characters. Basically, it’s like you’re studying two languages at the same time. I asked Ma laoshi how many characters there were and he said more than he could count. He added that he knew about six thousand though. Right now I know fifteen. Only five thousand, nine hundred and eight-five to go.

While I’m not studying, I usually spend my time eating, working, and exploring. The food in this town is good but full of oil. Everything we eat is dripping with the stuff and we eat so much of it. Someone told me that it’s custom to have more food than is necessary at a meal. If your guest or your customer eats it all, it’s insulting. So they cover the tables with as much food as possible.

I remember when I was eating meals as a child, adults used to bring up the starving kids in China. “Eat your broccoli. There are starving kids in China.” But this was a lie. No, there are only fat kids in China. I have never seen so many fat Asian babies in my life. And their parents dress them up in fluffy body coats that make them look even bigger. So pick another country to make your children feel guilty about. Or maybe you should say, “Don’t eat that ice cream. There are obese children in China. “

Haha, oh and the Chinese love putting on clothing with English writing. This poor little boy had no idea what his hat said. I imagine it’s about the same as American’s getting tattoos in Chinese.

I am also working at a children’s preschool in Qingdao. The school focuses on English skills for Chinese children. It’s perfect because everyone has to speak English while we’re working and playing. Our language has become a very valuable skill in China. I love the job and the kids are great. And fat.

And like I said, I enjoy exploring this great city. Qingdao is surrounded by mountains on one side and a sea on the other. Also, there is so much culture. At one spot you can find technology that looks like it should come out of Star Trek. But if you walk 100 meters in any direction the landscape may look like it did a hundred, or in some cases, a thousand years ago. It’s all very beautiful.

Well, this is where I will leave you for now. I will try to write more frequently now that I am able to post messages. I hope you all are well.

If anyone sees Ryan Beerwinkle please tell him that I met a contact he can use while he’s in Australia this summer. They’re nice people. Barley farmers.

Until next time,

Patrick

MORE DAYS IN BEIJING BEFORE WE FLY TO QUING DAO

We went to see the temple of heaven. That's where the emperor went to pray to his ancestors for things like a good harvest and fertile women. He did this because the chinese believed he was a son of the gods. Also went to a market and did some serious bartering. I'm not too shabby at it now. At first I was spending 15 dollars on a nice sweater but I was soon able to get them down on shirts. Usually a dollar to three dollars (U.S). We also went to the forbidden city. That's where some dynasty of emperors spent their time. It was very beautiful. In the forbidden city we met some retired people who were dancing. I guess when you retire in China, the people are allowed to join all kinds of hobbies like an official neigborhood watch or, like I saw, dancing groups in the forbidden city. We danced with them for about thirty minutes. At first we just did their old dances, which kind of remind me of Teviah (?) from Fiddler on the roof, but we quickly found out that their beats fit well with the electric slide and cotten eye'd joe. Super exciting. And they dont touch each other when a man and a woman dance together. So everyone was really shocked when I took a sixty+ year old woman and started swing dancing with her. But they like it. I gave a woman, she looked about a hundred, one of those chewy jolly ranchers. She followed us for the next one hundred meters thanking me and trying to offer me a piece of a banana.

DAYS IN BEIJING, CHINA

I didn't understand how communist China was. Amazing people. Almost everyone we meet is kind and willing to offer their services when we're lost or confused. But it is still communist and they don't want outside information to be brought into their country. It's really very eerie.


Oh btw the food is getting really old. So much oil. EVERYWHERE. But they had tomato soup last night. At least we think it was. One of the girls said to check for chicken feet before we dipped it out. Oh and I rode a donkey on the great wall yesterday. Haha just for a second but it was pretty cool. I really do love it here and the smog has finally lifted. I guess when a fog comes in it traps the cities smog for several days. Some of us got a cough but it's finally better. The wall was beautiful though. We even got to see the original wall that was built before some emperor fortified and unified the walls around the north side of china. Also, we rode a slide all the way down the mountain. It was like a ten minute slide. IT took a long time to get up though.

    I leave the states on February 21, and arrive in Beijing on the 23.  Three other students from Missouri State University will also be joining me.  This part of the trip is largely for acclimating us to the area.  It will also give us some time to get over our jet lag and adjust to the food.  I'm stocking up on cheese burgers while there's still time.  Who knows when I'll see another Buck Double. 

Also, after touring Beijing for a few days we will get to visit the Great Wall of China for an afternoon. I'm really looking forward to this part of the trip. 

Finally, after some time in Beijing, we will fly to our final stop in Qing Dao.  Qing Dao is on the northeast coast of China.  It's just a Yellow sea away from the Korea's.  Also, it is worldly renowned for its amazing fish dishes and delicious Qing Dao beer.  I don't really like either of those things but I'm sure I'll get used to it.

This is Qing Dao a few years ago....

 

And this is Qing Dao in the present.  Somehow, I think I'll survive. :)

 And this is a panda



I will bring one back if the opportunity presents itself

These are my plans right now and I'll keep you posted as things develop.